An old greentext from the wake of the Xbox One launch. I have a screenshot of the original but I can't be bothered tracking down the URL.
> 2018
> wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
> excited to play some halo 2k19
> "xbox on"
> ...
> "XBOX ON"
> "Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"
> "Doritos™ Dew™ it right"
> "ERROR! Please drink a verification can"
> reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest
> only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
> still feeling sick from the 14
> force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot"
> xbox does nothing
> i attempt to smile
> "Connecting to verification server"
> ...
> "Verification complete!"
> finally
> boot up halo 2k19
> finding multiplayer match...
> "ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!"
> my mother just walked in the room
> "Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?"
> "NO!"
> "Console entering lock state!"
> "to unlock drink verification can"
> last can
> "WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"
> drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
> pour the last half out the window
> "PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE"
> the mountain dew ad plays
> i have to dance for it
> feeling so sick
> makes me sing along
> dancing and singing
> "mountain dew is for me and you"
> throw up on my self
> throw up on my tv and entertainment system
> router shorts
> "ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"
> "PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE"